Being a parent isn’t easy. Some say it’s tough but it’s always followed with, “Oh but they are such a joy.” Yes, they are a joy but they can be soul suckers at the same time. Becoming a parent also means losing your sense of self, and trying to reinvent yourself is hard. Kids change you. They change everything about you. No one can ever really know what it’s like until they are knee-deep into it. Think about when your friend had the first kid in your circle. How did your dynamics change within your friendship? Now you have kids of your own, and you totally get it, right?!
I feel very lucky, that after five years since becoming a mother, that I have started to reinvent myself. I know some mother’s that have taken longer. But, I had to for my sanity. I kept thinking, who lives like this? Life is too short to be so miserable all the time. My life consisted of living in my car driving my kids between school and therapy (my daughter has a severe speech delay and my son was diagnosed with autism). We are so worried we are going to screw up our kids, and that we are terrible parents. I’m here to tell you, STOP! Stop the madness! Stop feeling guilty. Get out there mama!!
These are things I have done for myself that have worked for me and could work for you.
Join a Fitness Group
This might take some time. It may not even be a class that’s offered at your gym. Search your local gyms and see if they offer a free class to try. Or if you can’t find something you like, get a gym buddy. Set a date to work out a few times a week. Just having that adult interaction can be huge. Find a place that offers free daycare too. I know several of the Y’s offer daycare. Go, be kid free for an hour. Give yourself a mental break. If you have a full-time job, you can still do this. Find what works with your schedule.
Start a business, train for a marathon, start a new hobby. Do something that not only challenges you, but is something that is your thing. What did you used to love doing before you had kids. Can you start that back up again? Take a risk, do it scared. You got this!
Take a Class
Take a cooking class with your husband or friend. Tap into your inner artist, find a painting, pottery, jewelry making class. Ever want to go back to school and switch career directions? Do it.
Go wild. Get a new color, change-up your hairstyle. This one is an easy fix. Sometimes a new do and a new outfit can make all the difference in the world.
Plan a Girls Night
Go out! This one is the hardest one for me, but I’m getting better at it. You need to cut loose. You don’t have to go dancing on tables or anything, but grab dinner, go to see a movie, do a paint night, go bowling. Just go out and have fun with your girlfriends.
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